Victory Is Mine: July 2005

Video link: Nick Saban makes former USC DT cry

THERE'S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!!!

(If the link doesn't work, click here and click on the first link under videos.

4 year old found wandering along busy highway

There is a special layer of hell reserved for this bitch, who "abandoned her 4-year-old son on the Capital Beltway, then struck him with her car when he tried to get back in."

"Ghetto talent show" pisses of black community in Miami

Honestly, I don't see the harm in a little Watermelon Eating Contest every once in awhile. It's dignification of ebonics that's retarded.

And yes...

...I know my people can be annoying call center employees. But we do your name justice.

Latinos and their general inability to spell my name

[Edited]

Eureka!

I've been lamenting the fact that no stores down here in L.A. carry Diet Cherry Coke. Yesterday I went to Costco to pick up a bunch of Diet Coke for the office, and this morning as I loaded them into the fridge, I realized a little sign on each can that says "Cherry." Suh-WEET! I guess they changed the can's look to more closely resemble regular Diet Coke. Anyway, my life is just that much more complete this morning.

These sorts of discoveries can really make one's day. Even after my apparently just-right dosing of NyQuil was interrupted by a fire alarm at 2am. It seems any single unit's smoke detector will automatically set off the whole building's alarm. I'm almost certain it's the little shit Asian guy living a door down from me, who's constantly smoking in the hallways (it's a non-smoking building). I lived in 4 different apartment complexes in Seattle, and never had that issue. Here, I've been cleared out of the apartment 2 times in 2 months. Ugh.

Football talk

Link to my roommate bitching about people who think the ground should be allowed to cause a fumble. I agree with him 100%. If a player IS NOT DOWN, and fumbles the damn ball because he uses it to brace his fall, that's a fumble. And it is normally called correctly. Otherwise, the point is that the play is dead once the knee touches the ground (in college) or that and the player is touched by an opponent (NFL). Ball is dead AT THAT POINT, not when his whole body hits the ground. I don't see why this rule is so hard to comprehend for so many people.

Gratuitous shot of Brittany Murphy humping a horse

Well, not really humping, it's work safe.

But seriously, I've asked before and I'll do it again, HOW IS THIS THE ROLLIN WITH THE HOMIES CHICK FROM CLUELESS?

March of the Penguins

I bet some of you (out of three) readers are wondering, "There's a penguin movie out, why the hell hasn't Ro blogged about it yet?"

So maybe you haven't been wondering, but I am on the record as having a deep-rooted desire to one day own one of these murfuggers. I'll fill the void anyway and let you know: I just haven't had time to see it yet. It's only playing at like 3 theaters around me and apparently you have to buy tickets in advance to one of them (ArcLight or something). I'll get there this weekend and let you know how them Penguins do.

Seriously, my lifelong goal of settling down in the great and honorable state of Texas is going to make it difficult for me to raise a penguin, but I'll figure it out. Meantime you guys be thinking of a solution for me.

My Diet Coke problem

So...Friday nights, when I need to stay awake, I'll drink like four diet cokes and I still get drowsy around 11. Monday nights I figure I'll take a flier and hope the caffeine isn't working, and accidentally have 3 diet cokes at dinner (well the last two were accidental, wtf was I supposed to do - they kept refilling it when I wasn't looking!). Now I'm wired as hell. Doesn't help that I laughed my ass off watching Sunday's Family Guy episode just now.

Why can't I control Diet Coke to only work on Fridays? Damn you, caffeine gods. Humor me.

Now I'm going to have to tailor this NyQuil dose so perfectly that I wake up with the alarm at 4:30 and don't miss a beat. Helluva lot tougher than it sounds. Too little, and I stay awake till 1am and am drowsy when I wake up in the morning. Too much and I don't want to wake up in the morning, but have to force myself to do so. Ugh.

How sick is it

That when I added "The Gas We Pass" to my amazon wish list, one of the related items in my search was "We Wish to Inform you that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda."

Seriously? Amazon, get your shit straight. (No pun intended.)

Hey! I've got new items on my amazon wish list

Gonna have to make time for this one. Mmm hmm. Yeah.

This weekend's Family Guy

Oh my, so many pause-the-tivo-to-laugh-my-ass-off moments.

1. The "S.S. Pewterschmidt-kicker"
2. Peter: "I'm hittin' that."
3. Moveable type
4. Stewie/wacky tie Fridays
5. White limos/colored limos
6. Lois' dad's cellphone call to Peter
7. Dumping Meg overboard to win the race
8. Cosmo cover: Is Pooping the New Vomiting?
9. Brian: "Other employees? Who else works here?" Stewie: "F*ck you! That's who works here!"
10. Stewie's quarterly review of Brian.
11. Aww hell, the ENTIRE Stewie-Brian corporate saga
12. Peter on ecstasy
13. The Cookie Monster cameos

Hell, it was an all-timer. And I know I forgot a few.

Missouri police chief is a bit wacky

But hey, shouldn't we let cops have sex with animals if they want to?

New Mexico tee-shirt pissing off the Anti-Defamation League

I own this tee-shirt and love it.

Oh wow

OUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

"Allow me to introduce myself..."

"...I'm the best f'in softball player you've ever met."

Hilarious, check it out.

Best sushi ever

Found a spot a mile down the road from me, doesn't even have a sign on the building and looks like a dump from the outside. Bright neon "SUSHI" sign on a tinted window to give some notice to the outside world that it exists. Inside, also somewhat of a dump, ambiance-wise. But best sushi I've had. (And yes, I've been to all the trendy spots, Kitana, Matsuhisa, the usual stuff in Seattle, etc.) Apparently really highly rated by Zagat. And only a mile away. No need to worry about valet parking and all the associated issues with going all the way out to Sunset or something similar, just parked on the street. Go inside, they don't even give you a menu, they just assume you want "the special," an assortment of kickass sushi. You can ask for the menu, to see what you're getting, of course, but I won't have need for that in the future. Good times.

Heath Shuler is running for Congress

He was useless as a New Orleans Saint, and now I find out he's a Democrat too. Yeesh.

Disneyland on Saturday!!!

Who's got "It's a Small World" playing in their heads right now? I do, I do!

Also, Space Mountain is back, giddyup bitches!

Real Madrid game

Got to watch Real Madrid tonight, in town to play the L.A. Galaxy at the Home Depot Center in Carson. Well, we got to watch some of it. Traffic was such a nightmare, I got us to the stadium drive 50 minutes before kickoff. And we inched along. And inched along. And had to do a full block around the stadium because there were no parking lots open. We finally parked at Ralph's all the way on the other side, 20 minutes after kickoff. Got the tix at will call, managed to sell a pair b/c I bought 4 in case we could find others who wanted to go. Probably could have sold them for 2x face but I just took face value since we were right outside the entrance and I'm a pansy and well aware of section 346 of the California Penal Code.

A few observations:
1. Soccer is a lot of fun in person, like the Man United game I went to with Miller a couple years ago. Lots more entertaining than on TV. And I'm not one who gets easily bored with sports. Hell I played soccer for about eight years and even refereed 8 and 10 year olds (Official FIFA referee, bitches) for a couple years.

2. Going to the bathroom at halftime isn't nearly as much of a pain at soccer games as one would expect (since there are no stoppages during play), though it may have had to do with the stadium's not having a huge capacity in the first place.

3. Ticketmaster screwed me at first - or so I thought. My information on file was for an old credit card, so when I got online right at the open of ticket sales to buy tix, and got some in the lower level, it wouldn't allow me to change my info right there. I had to go back to the home screen, enter in the new info, and by then my tickets had been released back to the public. So I got docked from Section 123 or so to Section 229, Row PP. But actually, I got bumped from behind the goal seats, very low, to around-penalty-box seats, relatively high up but not so much so because the stadium is pretty small (probably seats about 20,000 max). Turns out the view was quite good from up there. Not great, mind you, but pretty good considering how fumed I was about having gotten bumped. We actually may have been better off, even.

4. Italian soccer fan girls are really, REALLY hot. Pretty much on par with SEC girls. And as Petey Pablo would say, you know how they do.

5. Luis Figo kicked the ball through some Galaxy defender's legs on a break. It was fundy!

One more thing

The Wedding Crashers is probably the 3rd funniest movie I have ever seen, behind Dumb & Dumber and Bad Santa.

The "urbanification" of America

[Edited]

Also, last week's Best Buy paper ad (you can pick them up right as you enter the store, it's about a 10-page long, 6" pamphlet) which instructed me to "Trick out your iPod." Swear.

Ebonics coming to San Bernadino Unified School District classrooms

Cause we keeps it real in CA, bitches.

WSJ article on bachelor party for star Fidelity trader (link req's registration)

The important part is here, though:

The festivities began with a trip by private jet from Boston to a small airport outside New York City. There, the revelers picked up some Wall Street traders and at least two women who investigators suspect may have been paid for their attendance, say people familiar with the matter. The partygoers -- including the groom-to-be, who was getting ready to marry the daughter of former Tyco International Ltd. boss L. Dennis Kozlowski -- then continued to trendy South Beach in Miami. The fun included a stay at the ritzy Delano Hotel for some, a yacht cruise and entertainment by at least one dwarf hired for the occasion.

"Some people are just into lavish dwarf entertainment," says the 4-foot-2 Danny Black, a part-owner in Shortdwarf.com, an outfit that rents dwarfs for parties starting at $149 an hour. Mr. Black says he spent part of the weekend on the yacht and worked as a waiter on the Friday night at a high-end Miami eatery alongside what he called "regular size" people. "A good time was had by all," he said, declining to provide further details.

Well Matt, since you can't hire dwarf bouncers for table service in Tacoma on New Year's Eve, you've always got Miami.

(Edit: It appears my coworkers were recently at a model party (this would be a party attended by models of the hot girl variety, one coworker is marrying one this Saturday), at which there were dwarf go-go dancers in M&M costumes. What with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the mind, I suppose it wouldn't be entirely off-the-mark to have Oompah-Loompahs serving finger foods at my bitchin Super Bowl party, would it?)

Good weekend all around

Friday night, took up the Good Guys on their 5 years no interest offer and spent a lot of $$$ on a surround sound system. I figure, I get to pay this thing off till I'm 30 without an ounce of interest, so giddyup Denon and Klipsch. Now I'm guaranteed to not be leaving my apartment on Saturdays and Sundays in the fall.

Saturday: brunch at the BC Cafe in Claremont. (Note to fellow CMCers - I can't believe we didn't go to the BC Cafe more often during our years there. The pancakes, holy shit. I'm in serious "click-click-bloody-click Pancakes!" mode. I kid you not, I dreamed about them the night before we went.) Then Wedding Crashers at the AMC 30 in Ontario Mills. Then Alberto's super nachos on the way home. In sum: BC's pancakes and Alberto's super nachos - two of the best foods I've ever had, in the same day? God save my metabolism, I'm gonna do this every other week for as long as I can. The 100-mile round trip is definitely worth it.

Finally saw pics of Arie's brand new H3. Good times in Seattle. Try not to run over any hippies, little brother! If you do, pray God gives you the wisdom to know where to bury 'em.

Anyway, Sunday Sunil and I went to this great brunch spot in Beverly Hills called Toast, point being: they make great omelettes and I continue to not see any movie stars. Although we did walk by the hospital where Brad Pitt is (was?) holed up with meningitis. Oh the humanity! Then saw War of the Worlds, confirming that no matter how much I hate Tom Cruise now, I'll still pay money to see shit blow up (most of you would too).

Also, the LSU Tigers led by yours truly defeated the Michigan Wolverines, Louisville Cardinals, and Florida Gators all led by my roommate, Chirag. Although he did win the inaugural battle last Thursday night.

NCAA '06 fans - notice that Kyle Field (Texas A&M) is the 2nd toughest place in the country to play, according to the game? Ahem, I'll take a night game at Death Valley over Kyle Field any day of the week. Sportscasters tend to agree (scroll down for Adrian Karsten's comments).

Tonight, Real Madrid. Next four weeks: portfolio earnings reports. Must get playtime in now, folks!

Discrimination in the workplace

Uh, is it fair to be fired for something as silly as this?

"authorship of songs which applaud the efforts of the terrorists on September 11th, encourage and warn of future acts of terrorism by you, discuss at length and in grave and alarming detail various criminal acts you intend to commit, state your belief that the U.S. government should be overthrown, and finally warn that others will die on September 11, 2005."

Goddamn moron Muslim Houston rappers.

Apparently...

...Wednesdays are hottie workout days in Santa Monica. Just FYI. It seems they only need to work out once a week.

How could anyone not love the redneck games?

That woman is a behemoth. Enjoy the slideshow!

Suh-weet accessory for EA's NCAA Football game

The one thing that makes NCAA somewhat of a bummer relative to Madden is that there are no players' names on the game, as it's against the NCAA's idiotic rules for players to license their names out for a fee (since this would be athletes making money, and only the universities and NCAA organization are allowed to profit off the players).

In any event, back to the game: turns out there are some rather enterprising individuals there who take the time to fill out every roster (even I-AA rosters, for Chrissakes) and save the file to a memory card, so that you can load the rosters on the game every time you play. Just learned about this phenomenal product from my roommate recently, and as we just got our copy of NCAA, we bought the roster file off EBAY yesterday. This is going to make gameplay a helluva lot more entertaining.

Sports bars in L.A.? You're asking the wrong guy.

Why? Well, because I bought the DirecTV HD Tivo today, now $700 from $1000. According to some online articles I read after the fact, looks like the price will be cut another $100 at the end of the month. Best Buy should still have the 30-day price match guarantee, so I'll be covered. If not, I'm returning it and waiting three weeks to buy again; either way, I'm going to be watching football at home in HD this year. Giddyup.

Cycling

I must admit, I found the linked article to be a pretty fascinating description of the strategy involved in cycling. Regards Team Lance's decision to allow another rider to take the yellow jersey at this point in the race.

Stupidity

The 76 station across the street from my apartment has a $50 limit on fillups. Ok, with gas sitting $2.60 and my truck having a 26 gallon tank, I routinely hit $60+ on my fillups and am not particularly pleased about filling up my take 3/4 of the way. I don't like going to the gas station more than I have to. Based on this, I will not be going there again. Now, I assume the $50 limit is to cap their exposure on drive-offs? Is it worth losing the business of people like me who drive gas-guzzling vehicles and are your most frequent customers?

Two women

The missing Alabama teen vs a fallen American soldier. Pop quiz, by what factor has news coverage of the former outpaced that of the latter?

4th weekend

Went up to Seattle, and spent the weekend up in Vancouver. Beautiful city, beautiful people. And I didn't even see any hot Indian girls in Vancouver. Well, I saw like four, but normally I see like four dozen. An hour. Very weird. Maybe they've begun migrating north for the summer? I don't get it.

Funny as hell post on the Saints forum's non-football page

Read what Seminole Marine has to say about how long it took him to fall in love. I think he's dead serious (based on my previous meetings with some of the Saints fans from this board, I don't discredit anything I read from them), but the thread has gotten a lot longer since I last read it and I'm not sure whether he's retracted it since.

Man dies watching wife's epidural, wife sues

Ahh, long live litigation. Reminds me of one of the funnier South Park episodes of all time, Sexual Harassment Panda.

On to better and brighter things

Namely, the movie "Field of Dreams." I watched it on Monday (on the WE channel, no less!), and I just have to say that every time I just about get fed up with baseball, am just about on the brink of not caring any more besides checking the standings once a week or so, that movie comes along and fires me right back up.

I also really like James Earl Jones. The last real movie I feel like he did was Cry, the Beloved Country, which was almost a decade ago. But check out his IMDB resume, what a career!

Quick note about the London situation

George Galloway is now ranting that this is the price London paid for supporting the War in Iraq and Afghanistan. What the hell does this asshole have to say about 9/11? The war apologists really piss me off.

I can only pray that the Brits don't follow Spain's example in folding the way they did.

Victory Is Mine

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

And yes...

Latinos and their general inability to spell my name

Eureka!

Monday, July 25, 2005

My Diet Coke problem

This weekend's Family Guy

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Friday, July 22, 2005

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Best sushi ever

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Monday, July 18, 2005

Disneyland on Saturday!!!

Real Madrid game

One more thing

The "urbanification" of America

Good weekend all around

Friday, July 15, 2005

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Apparently...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Sports bars in L.A.? You're asking the wrong guy.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Stupidity

4th weekend

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