Victory Is Mine: May 2005

An amazingly eloquent defection from the left

This appears in a San Francisco paper. This guy is going to get filleted in that town. Still, good for him for writing this.

Soldier forced to shake with Hillary

I love it. I hate Hillary so damn much.

The type of thing that wreaks havoc in Southern education

You can't write a math problem without understanding the basics of football, you just can't!

LSU's Golden Girls in "God Bless America" attire

Apparently this is the most-viewed thread in the LSU message board's history, probably by a longshot. FYI the girl in the second picture is Britney Spears' cousin, Laura Lynne Covington. (That link has plenty more pictures.) Ahh, the women of the SEC. Even the Pac-10 can't compete. Then again, the girls in the Pac-10 don't seem to smoke nearly as much, so they've got that going for them.

Tab for Chirag and me at Costco today: $678

I'd completely forgotten that in Cali, it's not like the state of Washington where they only sell liquor in government-owned shops in very inconvenient locations that have very early closing times. THEY SELL LIQUOR AT COSTCO HERE! Crown Royal, Cap'n Morgan, giddyup. They sell beer too, so we picked some up, but this is no different from WA.

Naperville in the news!

P, your former hometown's library is getting hi-tech and controversial.

Horse I bet on to win the Derby winds up winning Preakness

You bastard, why couldn't you have won two weeks ago when I put $50 on you?

Lion fights 42 midgets, kills 28 and wounds 14

Holy SHIT.

(Edit: Link will take you to Chirag's blog, which links to the original story, since he first told me about it. Actually, I had to go ask him what was up when I heard him laughing hysterically across the house. Yep, we're both heading to hell. Well, the Hindu version of it at least, which means a couple lives as an African dung beetle or some such punishment.)

WARNING on the Whizzinator Link

Do NOT enter that site at work. The Whizzinator is really a fake penis tailored to your skin color. Holy shit, I had not realized this.

This Ricky Williams comeback thing keeps getting better

And I just love this quote from Leigh Steinberg, Ricky's agent:

The only question is whether or not he felt he could exist within the parameters of the NFL. He's been going to the school to help him heal from the drug use. All of that has led him on the path that has made him miss the NFL more and more and more and led him again on a path, which is sort of a more natural path and away from the substances that may not work in the NFL.

Yep, Ricky's going to quit doing drugs. He won't EVER use a Whizzinator or anything.

Ricky Williams wants to come back

What an ass. If I were a coach, it'd take a hell of a lot for me to get comfortable with his commitment level, but I'm guessing I could considering he's so damn talented. And we're all whores for potential.

Lawyer leads double life as porn star

I just love the tone of this article. Serious, but with stuff like this that just throws it all off:

One of his favorite scenarios is the young damsel in distress who comes to Don Hollywood for legal advice and ends up surrendering her virtue to pay for his services.

Except the services he provides in his films are not exactly court-ordered.

The Manchester United sale

This is very interesting. 99% of Man U fans are so pissed off they're thinking of starting an entirely new club.

I suppose if the Man U faithful can get over it, I may be able to if and when the Aints eventually move. I still haven't figured out which team I'd cheer for, but I think it'd be Carolina. I don't hate them, like I hate the Falcons and the Cowboys, and I just can't bring myself to really give a damn about the Texans other than my boy Domanick Davis (LSU). And gratuitous shots of David Carr's wifey. Hmmm....

Miss Universe slideshow

I think that link should be correct, it's a pop-up window from Yahoo.

Anyway, 159 pics of really hot girls (except Miss Italy, surprisingly enough - eeewwww) dancing around in bikinis on a Thai beach. What the hay, it's Friday. Make sure to check out Miss Venezuela, Monica Spear.

Lake disappears overnight in Russia

What the hell? How can there not be some follow up going on to this story? Trees got sucked underground and an entire lake disappeared? Is everyone else just assuming Reuters is making this up?

Angelina Jolie/Aishwarya Rai

My roommate posted this and I'd like to know the feelings of youse guys who actually pay attention in the slightest way to Bollywood - doesn't Angelina Jolie really look a helluva lot like Aishwarya Rai in the poster for her new flick? I've been saying it for awhile, but it really stood out with this poster.

In the line of blog buddies taking the location quiz...

Matt and Shelby did it, so I decided to do it myself. Top 20 places for me to live:

Phoenix
Tampa
Orlando
Austin (wtf? I said Republican Party)
San Antonio
Charleston, SC
Houston
Scottsdale
Tucson
El Paso (! - I said no Mexicans! Ok, I put "Neutral" for that one.)
Jacksonville
Miami
Dallas
Fort Worth
West Palm Beach
Memphis
Atlanta
Dothan, Alabama (the Peanut Capital of the World!)
Brownsville, TX
McAllen, TX
Yuma
Savannah, GA
Clearwater, FL
Bradenton, FL

I get the feeling this quiz sends EVERYONE down to Texas, Arizona, and Florida. I don't think it's humany possible to get New Orleans, LA in your result. Well, unless you say "I love rampant and insufferable humidity, no mountains or beaches, and about zero culture other than a bunch of uniquely French-descended folk with a penchant for spicy food. And boobies." But clearly, this quiz has validated my passion for Texas. 20 years from now, Dallas - giddyup!

I will note that Shelby got College Station on her results. Hah! Aggie.

The nonsensical military recruting ban at Garfield High

I was like, gonna blog about this, and stuff, but then I realized my far more eloquent amigo Matt already done it. And he in the military, so he gots more cred on this subject, seeins as I believe the same way he do.

"News Magazines don't kill people, Muslims do."

Damn, that Ann Coulter is vicious. And I love it.

Random Los Angeles observations

1) The roads here are HORRIBLE. My truck shakes violently on a large part of the stretch of the 405 between Westwood and Manhattan Beach. And it otherwise drives fine. Meanwhile, there are potholes everywhere on main roads like Wilshire, Rosecrans, Sepulveda. This is one area in which the Seattle area excels on a relative basis.

2) You'll encounter assholes on the road more frequently here than most other places simply because of the large volume of cars, but I never fail to be impressed with the ability of MOST L.A. drivers to navigate at a respectable speed (65+ mph) in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Asian women drivers, naturally, are entirely excluded from this observation.

3) There are lots of hot Indian girls down here. And apparently they all party. This is most excellent. Think I can find any who voted for Bush?

4) There is a Whole Foods on every other block. This is also most excellent. They have very good lunches there. Salad bar too. And it's not that expensive, either. Those of you up in Kirkland, it's worth the trip into Bellevue to give it a shot.

5) The gym situation has improved. In addition to the ratio and quality improving markedly today, yesterday they brought in about 10 new ellipticals. Now hopefully it'll be a little easier to go longer than 20 minutes on cardio since there will be some empty machines. I still can't bring myself to do like over half the assholes there and just blatantly violate the rule when the gym is packed. It is most certainly NOT like getting in the 10-item express lane at Safeway when you have 11 items, nor is it like unbuckling your seat belt before the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign. It actually is a crappy thing to do to other people. Which is why I can't do it, and I know I gots some good karma building up for my adherence to that shit.

6) There is a great Cajun restaurant 1.4 miles from our office. This is the place I drove approximately 55 miles to get to once upon a time while I was in Claremont. They even have Louisiana TECH paraphernalia there, let alone LSU!

7) There is a Chick-fil-A a mere three miles from the office!!!! And yes, of course I dragged G there on my first day of work this past Monday.

8) Our office is also just a couple miles from Compton. I'd forgotten that. What, bitch? I'd also forgotten about the 2Pac line "Worldwide, let 'em recognize from Long Beach to Rosecrans." Hah! I drive a little ways on Rosecrans every day! Get a little tingle in my spine every time. Kinda like being in Seattle and driving on Broadway, and thinking about the Sir Mix-a-Lot song "Posse on Broadway," but here, it's Pac versus Mix. Come on, now.

9) Speaking of rap lines, I have not yet flossed any hoes at Roscoe's. And Fatburger is no longer Cali-only, so it doesn't really matter whether I've gone there. And it's going to be a lonnnnngggggg ass time before I'm sippin Christo with some freaks from Frisco.

10) Yeah, I listened to Going Back to Cali at the border on my drive down. You expected anything less?

Why teens are bad at chores

The phrase used here is "cognitive limitations." Oh how I wish we could go back to the pre-politically correct times, in which it may have been fine to simply say, "Well, it's because we're raising an entire generation of DUMBFUCKS."

Cognitive limitations? Seriously?

Brittany Murphy

I am never going to get over the fact that she was the rollin' with the homies girl from Clueless. Honestly, have you EVER seen anyone change this much? (Edit: Aside from Michael Jackson.)

I just needed some reason to post this, since Jessica Alba is also in the picture, for good measure. Work-appropriate.

Mallika Sherawat - Hottest Indian Girl Ever

Ok, I was on the bandwagon WAYYYYY before this thing got rolling. I'm driving the damn thing. I was all up in this mix from my Showbiz India habit like last February, bitches. Can I get some credit here?

5-year old takes gun to class

In Austin, TX. You think he's got a gun rack on the back of his trikey? (Speaking of which, who caught Stewie's tricked-out trikey in this weekend's Family Guy? Holy shit, that was funny.)

I dunno why I thought Austin would be above this. They allow guns there? Isn't it the one insanely liberal enclave in the otherwise fantabulously great state of Texas?

Great moments in ESPN Polls

Question: "Who will win the West?"

Now, you're thinking maybe they mean the NL West, the AL West, or the NFC or AFC West right? Or perhaps even the SEC West?

Oh no, they mean the WNBA.

Seriously, who gives a rat's ass about the WNBA? I'm stunned that 24,000 people have actually taken the damn time to vote.

Sonics tool on Spurs...

...with Rashard Lewis out of the lineup. Ridnour just went off in the 3rd quarter, unlike anything I've ever seen out of him (15 pts in the quarter, including several buckets driving into the lane while Duncan was in). Wilkins played better than Iv'e ever seen him. Every single guy on that team played with no fear, and it showed. This is one incredibly scrappy team. No matter how they finish, this team deserves more respect than anyone in the NBA, given how little the world thought of them in October.

They've damn sure come a long way since the season-opening 30-point loss to the Clippers.

The Newsweek error which cost lives

I can't say I'm all that surprised that a major news publication would jump to publish smear stories about our troops without even having its goddamn facts straight. Liberals complaining about Fox News need to shut the fuck up and clean up their own messes (CNN, every network, every major newspaper but the WSJ - hell the St. Louis Post-Dispatch is REQUIRED to keep its liberal editorial bent as a condition of sale - and NPR).

The NY Times is exposed as a joke, Dan Rather goes down, and now Newsweek should too. Media isn't biased, my ass.

Random LSU Student enters NBA Draft

Link to the LSU Message board discussion, complete with requisite homer who claims the student will be better than 2003 SEC Player of the Year Brandon Bass.

Anyone can enter the draft, you or I could do it right now. But what's funny here is that this guy's name somehow made all the early-entry draft lists, along with guys like Jarrett Jack and Sean May. Even ESPN called up to get information on the guy, who never played a day of basketball at LSU.

Oh I get it

It doesn't include the football championships. It's only in big bold type at the top of the page.

And indeed, they are ahead

The list is:

UCLA - 95
Stanford - 89
USC - 83
Oklahoma State (!) - 46
Arkansas - 41
LSU - 40

Something's messed up here. The NCAA site says it's updated through Winter 2005, whereas LSU's site claims we have 43 national championships (which would thus put us ahead of Arkansas on the list above). Hmmm. I'll take LSU's word for it, of course.

Did you know?

LSU has won 43 national titles in all sports, the most of any school in the SEC.

I'm guessing Stanford, USC, and UCLA are well ahead of that.

Things you see in L.A.

While driving around in Westwood, I came up behind a vehicle with a vanity plate which read "BENZ4ML", which I assume must mean something to the effect of "Benz for my love." Said tag was affixed to the back of a...

Drum roll please...

Lexus RX-300.

BONNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!

I took a picture with my camera phone, but you can't really read the plate, and I haven't yet taken the time to figure out how to post pictures on here. You can email me for the pic if you want proof (and honestly, if it DIDN'T say that, why the hell would I have taken a picture of a random RX-300 anyway?).

America has a great sense of humor

Check out all the Runaway Bride stuff on eBay right now...her image on toast, tee-shirts, probably some bobbleheads, etc.

Long Jonah article attempting to define conservatism

Describes neocons, theocons, just about every "something-con" except the decepticons. Still haven't finished reading it, but I imagine as with just about everything else Jonah writes, it's worthwhile.

Parking at the gym

I took my beast (2001 Chevy Silverado) to the gym today and parked it, reversing into a spot towards the back of the lot, next to a G35 and an empty spot on the driver side. I kept it really close to the line on my side so as to leave the G35 some room in case he had a passenger. My back left tire was literally no more than one inch into the white line. Not over it and into the other spot, mind you, not even halfway into the white line itself. Just an inch in.

I come back after my workout, and there's a middle-aged lady in some sort of new age wagon shuffling things around, with her trunk hatch open and her rear passenger door swung open as far as it could go without leaning on my truck. I am pleased that she has such kindness so as not to lean her door on my truck, even though scratches and tiny bumps build character. I get there and wait a sec for her to realize I own the truck and need to get by. She has sunglasses on, so I can't really gauge her expression that well, but she looks at me and says "That your truck?" and I nod. She gets a wry smile, the type which only crops on one side of the face, and visibly looks down toward my back tire which is an inch over the spot. I stop and say "Someone was parked closed to me on the other side when I got into this spot, I didn't think that was so much of a problem." She starts to say "They don't make parking spots for your truck here," and then I get in my car, slamming the door shut while saying "WELL IT DOESN'T SAY COMPACT EITHER", referring to the parking spot, not my truck.

At this point, old lady suddenly realizes I am an unshaven, five-weeks-without-a-haircut, relatively big brown dude (who probably looks a bit bigger than normal as he just finished a 2-hr workout) who is now furious at her for being such a ragin bitch. She then tries to play it off while my window is down so I roll it down to see what she's saying, which is "I'm not angry at you! Just mean it's too bad they don't make parking spots big enough for your truck," all the while most likely thinking "Please don't commandeer a 757 into my home. Asalamalikim, allahu-akbar, etc. etc."

"Have a nice day," I say, and storm off. Ugh. Even if I'd had a gun, I probably wouldn't have shot at her. Not that she didn't deserve it.

The Tucker Max Message board is worth reading

Most of the stuff I'm linking to is from the Idiot Board, I think. Anyway, wander over there for gems like:

1) This idiot superhero woman in NYC. Board discussion here.

2) This list of cruel things people have done to animals. Mostly to cats, which is great, because I detest cats. My personal fave, though, is the dude who tied little toy parachutes to hamsters and dropped them out of a third-story window. They survived.

3) The Sports Gambling Board with instructions for finding the best sportsbook, a primer on terminology, and daily discussions of all the lines.

Saints may relocate to San Antonio

Wow, if this happens, I will do a complete 180 on my attitude towards Texas and despise every freaking inch of that state.

With the gym in mind

I'll note that the 24 Hour Fitness in Santa Monica isn't NEARLY as loaded with talent as the Kirkland Parkplace location near and dear to my heart. Stunning.

Which one of these guys doesn't belong?

heheheh

Now Heidi Klum is married? To SEAL?

Ok, I can deal with Renee Zellwegger getting married, seeing as I don't give a rat's ass about her. But Heidi Klum to Seal? Sydney Bristow with Ben Affleck? And Katie Holmes is dating Tom Cruise?

What the hell is going on here?

Hillary '08 disaster talk

Joe Klein, author of Primary Colors, thinks a Hillary run in '08 would be a disaster (not because he doesn't like her). He notes that:

What's more, I suspect there would be innate and appropriate populist resistance to this slouch toward monarchial democracy. There is something fundamentally un-American—and very European—about the Clintons and the Bushes trading the office every eight years, with stale, familiar corps of retainers, supporters and enemies.

I love how many liberals seem to think that if the nation DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTS whomever the hell it wants to, if those folks happen to be related to someone else who was once related, it's becoming a monarchy. Because the American people are too fucking stupid to vote for themselves, so we should let jackasses like Joe Klein dictate our nation's leadership for us. I guess that goes in line with the general liberal agenda that the people are too damn stupid to do anything at all, so we should just have the government do it for them. That pisses me off more than the people who violate the 20 minute rule at the gym.

Ice cream vendor rails on fat kid

HAHAHAHAHAHAH...not that the vendor didn't deserve probation or anything. I mean, a fat 14 year old calls you a ripoff and you punch him and slam him into a wall? Good God. But I think the best part is at the end (and note that the kid is 5'5" and 140):

The teen's mother said she's satisfied with the verdict, but complained that her son is now self-conscious about his weight.

"This has been a nightmare," she said.

If not for the mean ice cream man, little Jimmy wouldn't have ever been self conscious about his weight. Gimme a break.

Harry Reid calls W a "loser"

Jesus H Christ, so now the Dems are using high school language to attack W? I guess I'm not all that surprised.

What are we supposed to do, scream "SCOREBOARD - TWO TERMS!" at the guy?

Remember, Harry, you're the Senate MINORITY leader. Bitch.

Condoms given to middle schoolers at health fair

Once again, life imitates South Park.

More Eva Longoria for you, Chirag

She tops Maxim's list of 100 hottest women.

I just can't believe she was 91st last year. How did she even make the list last year? Desperate Housewives didn't start till October.

NFL won't let Mike Nolan suit up

I hate the Niners, and I hate that I'm beginning to like Mike Nolan. Ugh. Sort of like how I always liked Mariucci - made hating the Niners tougher. But no worries, I shall overcome the urge to not hate them.

Same ole Saints

This year in the fourth round we drafted Chase Lyman, a wideout from Cal. Here was a snippet from his ESPN Draft profile:

Lyman injured the back of his knee before even arriving on campus in 2000, but still played as a true freshman and caught 19 passes for 313 yards. He had an appendectomy the following August and missed the season opener of his sophomore season. Lyman was slated to start and was No. 1 on the depth chart in 2002, then tore his hamstring. He missed the season and spring ball. He caught five passes for a career-high 149 yards and a touchdown in Cal's 52-49 Insight Bowl win over Virginia Tech in 2003 and carried that success into his senior season in 2004 where he had 14 receptions for 414 yards and four TD's before suffering yet another injury this time a season-ending knee injury.

Well, apparently he's torn his ACL and could be out for the year. Three cheers for another 8-8 or worse season from Jim Haslett and co!

Hot Girl transfers to LSU Lady Tigers

IHI.

In case you need a time sink

Don't blame me, you'd have heard of this sooner or later anyway.

Are Ugly Children Less Loved?

Wow, the researchers actually ranked a bunch of kids' ugliness on a 10 point scale and watched how their parents treated them at the grocery store. Who knew you could turn erstwhile drinking-game conversations into veritable research projects by passing it off as Darwinian hypothesizing?

Extreme Ironing

What the hell?

Ok, that's it. I'm going to think up an extreme sport. How about extreme investing? "We'll whisk you away to the Himalayas to read your WSJ in air so glorious, so pristine, you're bound to have only the purest, bottled-at-the-source home run investment ideas materialize in your head. Possibly in the form of a vision of The Fonz. It'll be a literal orgy of investment ideas in your head! Sign up now, before all the good ideas are taken, while you too can still generate alpha!"

Given the investment field's penchant for marathons and shit, and the fact that everyone has a lot of money, I bet we could get this thing rolling in no time. Who's with me?

I'm a South Park Conservative

I didn't realize they have a name for us, but I'm definitely one of us.

Red Sox overload

Editorial in the Seattle Times. Right on. I'm happily on the bandwagon though, since they hate the Yankees.

Jennifer Garner is pregnant!

God DAMMIT.

Apparently they're concerned about how she's going to conceal the belly on Alias. Why is that a problem? The show absolutely sucks now. They'll find some way to take it into left field - if there is some area of left field to which they haven't already sidetracked the show - and pass it off as more plot twists to keep us all hooked! Screw them. I need to cut down on my TV anyway.

Jamie's time travel party story

There's a whole discussion of it there at Sepia Mutiny, a site which makes sure that when there's an Indian in the news, we'll know it!

Apparently on Weekend Update they noted that the people from the future won't be attending the party because they already know it sucks. hah! I guess they can still be funny once in awhile.

Golden Palace Casino is at it again

They bought the Pope's old Volkswagen now, adding it to a collection which includes the Virgin Mary grilled cheese from last fall, and the woman who changed her name to "Golden Palace Casino" for cash. You can see all the crazy crap they've bought here.

They say the Kentucky Derby is like Mardi Gras

I always heard it, but I never believed it till I saw this picture. They mean exactly that! (Yes, it's viewable at work.)

Back from Vegas

I'm so glad my time off is nearing an end, because I don't think my liver can handle it anymore. Or my wallet. From a peak of being up $420 early Saturday, I was down to negative $235 within four hours, several crappy blackjack dealers, and a 3rd-place finish by the horse I laid $50 on to win the Derby.

I still have yet to ever have a bad time at the Carnaval Court at Harrah's. It's pretty much a once-a-day stop every time I'm down there. And now that I've discovered that their chips and salsa comes with extremely tasty guacamole, those once-a-day stops might get extended a bit longer.

Other observations: Studio 54 plays shitty music. But they have cool trapeze acts. The cage girls at Rum Jungle have gotten hotter. In a month! New outfits and such. Muy bueno. The bouncer, however, did not get the $40 he was expecting from me after he let me and Matt's wife in an hour early, since he turned away my four amigos at the door immediately afterwards. Ass. They got in anyway, since we did bottle service. But still: Ass.

Seriously, the drive back took six hours. Ridiculous. Didn't take that long last time I did it, back in June 2003. Part of it was complicated by a 45 minute lunch of which 25 minutes were consumed at Taco Bell in Baker, CA, waiting for our orders. I was order 269, at 12:59pm (timestamp on the receipt). They were at order 257 at that point. By 1:19pm (timestamp on the cancellation receipt), they were on order 263, so Chirag and I got so fed up that we walked up and demanded our money back. Honestly, in twenty minutes they completed six orders. That's just unacceptable. I asked what the hell their problem was, the broken English answer was that they had a lot of customers. The Del Taco down the street was just as packed and we got our food within 2 minutes. Shit. I wanted a mexican pizza too, but had to settle for the same meal I'd eaten three times over the previous 48 hours: a Del Classic Chicken Burrito and 2 Chicken soft tacos, con Del Scorcho sauce. I think I could have treated my intestines and liver better this weekend. Ahh well.

Kellen Winslow had it coming

Who remembers this quote from his college days?

"It's war, they're out there to kill you, so I'm out there to kill them. We don't care about anybody but this U. They're going after my legs. I'm going to come right back at them. I'm a fucking soldier."

Apparently, he's also a fucking retard.

Someone's been screwing penguins

Cause they be dying of chlamydia.

Sweet! Thunderstorms in Vegas today

How do I time this so well?

"Whore College" opens in SF

Let's be honest, couldn't they have just called it "Wellesley West"?

I had cupcakes for breakfast today

And they was damn good.

With any luck, I'll be having them for b'fast again tomorrow. Whatever, I'm going to the gym.

Weekend plans

1) Stay here with Chirag, perhaps a couple of his Fox Sports buddies, Matt and wife, and Shelby and Drew. Over under on longest stretch without a Family Guy quote? I'm giving it five minutes. Feel free to offer up your own guess.

2) Go here. Possibly on Friday and Saturday. Drink heavily.

3) Bet against George Steinbrenner's horse in the Kentucky Derby. Can I take the field to win, place, and show? Ok, maybe that's stupid. But with the Yanks failing so miserably, it would be utter glee to have the Boss's horse fuck it up for him too, what with his going in as the favorite.

4) Drive home, with the aid of a Bacon Double Western (919 calories) from Carl's.

Hottest news correspondent ever?

You don't have to let MS install any stupid Korean language pack to see the pics.

Rachel Corrie's parents suing Caterpillar

Yep, apparently Caterpillar aided and abetted in the killing of this dumbass wacko who apparently didn't fully grasp the consequences of standing in the way of a bulldozer. If she had, she probably would have at least strapped some explosives to her chest to get her point across.

They some crazy fools down in Texas

Banning sexy cheerleading. I know it's right next door, but if this EVER made its way into SEC country, you could guarantee legislators would be looking for new jobs come the next election.

One thing I hate

Is when a pro basketball player turns in 38 minutes in a game when he normally turns in about 18, and the announcers deem him "courageous." Seriously, grab a fucking dictionary and think of something else.

Props to TNT

They just showed an interview with Ray Allen where they actually referred to him in the graphic as "Jesus Shuttlesworth" after the requisite He Got Game clip.

Notes after arriving in L.A.

1) I guess I really did miss the weather down here. Damn. Maybe that means I was just getting conditioned to Seattle even though I outwardly denied it? Nah. One thing I didn't miss? Road Rage. Considering it was my first time driving a trailer, especially in the four lanes of packed traffic that is the 405 (L.A.'s version, not Seattle's, though similar), I'm surprised I wasn't shot at. Although I did get a "Please don't shoot me" wave from a middle-aged white woman driving a Lexus RX300 who cut me off on a steep incline about 60 miles north of L.A. and then noticed that I hadn't shaved in several days.

2) If you have ever wondered whether or not cops really are out in force at the beginning and end of every month to meet quota, know that it is definitely the case in Oregon, through which I passed on Saturday evening (4/30) en route from Seattle down to L.A. I counted 12 cops, beginning about a half hour south of Portland and continuing all the way down to Ashland (the border). Didn't see a single Washington trooper or California Highway Patrolman in my drives through those states. Well, aside from the CHIP at Wendy's.

3) No matter how often I go to Oregon, I still can't get over the fact that they don't trust normal people to fill their own gas. Perhaps the abundance of hippies will result in myriad freak post-Orange-mocha-frappucino-gasoline-fight accidents? So anyway, they have full time professional hippies come out and fill your gas for you. Several years ago, I caved and tipped the hippies. Now, I know better. They'll just spend it on weed anyway.

4) As much shit as people like to talk about the roads down South, try driving around the Bay Area sometime. Once you get off I-5 (I was on 505, 80, 680, and 880, in addition to a couple state Highways), those roads will make you consider every possible method by which your mattress could wind up on top of your $3k+ big screen TV, which you naturally forgot to pad on top before locking up.

5) Know how you're used to seeing McD's and Taco Bells and Dairy Queens off interstate exits when you're in the middle of nowhere? Well, there's a Taste of India in Buttonwillow, California, proud owner of one interstate exit. No I didn't try it.

6) I know I linked to the Yahoo map for Buttonwillow, but you really should use Google maps (I don't know how to link to specific maps yet, since the URL didn't change when I pulled up Buttonwillow). You can actually use keyboard arrows to navigate the maps AND if you do driving directions, you can actually see the SATELLITE picture of the driving directions. Seriously. Try it. It'll superimpose the blue line showing your route over the actual highway in the satellite pic. I thought you could just do still shots of the satellite, which was cool enough, but actually seeing every turn you have to make when it says "Bear Right at XXX freeway for 0.1 mi" you'll know exactly what it means. These are the sorts of things that make me have to change my underpants.

7) Yes, that was a shameless Google plug but only because I like that map function. I did get to tour the Google offices with Mayumi. Honestly, they rock the hell out of Microsoft's, which are quite dreary on the inside despite the outward appearance of happy soccer fields and Lake Sammammish et al. I still can't believe this company (Google, that is) was FOUNDED in 1998.

8) If you have Cingular, you will have a strong cell signal the entire length of I-5.

9) The new 6GB iPod mini which advertises an 18-hour battery life is certainly as good as advertised. I charged it almost fully before I left, and had it on virtually the entire drive (1175 miles or so, about 18 hours of driving time). It still has some charge left. I read some reviews which told of its ability to play for 26 hours straight (without the battery drains caused by stopping and restarting it or turning on the backlight to change songs), and I believe those entirely.

Victory Is Mine

Monday, May 23, 2005

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Tab for Chirag and me at Costco today: $678

Friday, May 20, 2005

WARNING on the Whizzinator Link

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Random Los Angeles observations

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Oh I get it

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Things you see in L.A.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Parking at the gym

With the gym in mind

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Back from Vegas

Friday, May 06, 2005

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I had cupcakes for breakfast today

Weekend plans

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

One thing I hate

Props to TNT

Monday, May 02, 2005

Notes after arriving in L.A.

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