Victory Is Mine

Cardio Madness II

To hell with March Madness, we gots Cardio Madness up in this mix. Newest update: Today I roll up to the ellipticals after I finished lifting, and four of the six have been on there fewer than 20 minutes. One has a book over her timer so I can't see how long she's been after it. The other is a woman of rather large stature, at least in terms of width, for she stood approximately 5'4", tipping the scales at a deuce and a half. I am prone to exagerration on occasion, so we'll adjust that to 245. I managed to peer around said lass to the timer, which showed that she'd been getting that workout on for 32 minutes and 7 seconds...and counting. She slowed to take a breath and a sip of water, and then kept going. At this point, I decided to take a cue from my boy Salil (see Blunt Instrument link on the right panel) and anoint today "Fuck This Shit Day," and approach said rules violator. I informed her of the 20 minute rule. She acted like she didn't hear and motioned for me to repeat (no words). I repeated. She looked miffed. I raised my voice a bit, she glared at me and disembarked from the elliptical so I could get my cardio in. No words returned. She proceeded to - what would the proper word be to describe a slug's motion in getting from point A to point B? I'm drawing a blank - waddle over to the treadmills out of my line of sight.

She managed to entertain herself for about thirteen minutes before coming right back to the ellipticals and getting on another one a couple down from me. She is precisely the type of assfuck rules-violater I discussed in Cardio Madness I earlier today. Pretty much no one but yours truly knows that she's already gotten her 32 minutes in and is about to hog the machines, likely for another 28. (I should say the simple fact that she got 32 minutes in is pretty impressive, though she was probably on Level 1.)

If I haven't made it clear yet, I hate these people. Hatred is bad for my karma, but at this point, to quote Smokey, I don't give a fuck.

I leave, knowing that I am without a doubt on her "People to Kill" list. I shall appease the behemoth with a Nestle Crunch bar tomorrow, should I see her. I will report back with results when I have them. Payce.

posted by Publius @ 8:14 PM