Victory Is Mine

Clark just tried his hand at futbol americano

And predictably, he rocks. I mean, if I were Superman, the first damn thing I'd do is go out for the football team. But apparently there were some problems because getting hit by Clark is like getting hit by an oncoming freight train. Some evil kid forced Clark to trip into some 250-lb kid at the goal line, and naturally, said kid's collarbone broke and all hell broke loose about Clark being on steroids and such nonsense. After much soul-searching, he comes back for the title game and throws the winning TD pass at the buzzer even after being warned by evil kid with five seconds left and Smallville High trailing that if they won he'd kill Chloe - but Clark managed to throw the pass, pause the game, save Chloe, and return to his TD pass follow-through without anyone noticing.

Once again, Superman rocks.

Honestly, if I were Superman, I'd just play football until they found out I could ream everyone, and when they found that out, I'd just make like Ricky Williams and go to ayurvedic holistic school somewhere in California, minus the weed, plus all the Hinduism. Which would make Mom happy. But if they didn't find out until after I'd gone pro and won the New Orleans Saints a Super Bowl, then everybody wins!

posted by Publius @ 9:03 PM